You blew on out with your new girl and your old bad habits.
You have her believing things will be different, now that all is new. You’ve both agreed to delude yourselves. In psycho-parlance it’s termed ‘a geographic’. When you move fast like that, rash like that, quick and confusing. A sleight of hand to befuddle your partner, the onlooker, chaos filling the space where otherwise they’d see you for who you are. They will, but only after all this moving around, packing and hauling and driving. Dry leaves swirling in an autumn storm to help distract. Tricks only work their mysteries for so long, the leaves will settle and the pattern they form will become discernible. A message of truth.
One single word, the leaves will read, ‘leopard’.
You can change your domicile but you cannot sweep free of the mess. You’ll see, when things crumble with your new lass, since you’ll continuously change the narrative, keeping her off balance so you don’t have to commit to anything substantial. Until eventually she’ll notice. One day your good looks will wear off and their magical effects will not be felt. If anything you’ll see a whole other look in her once gullible green eyes. And then you’ll move on.
She will learn from you how much she dislikes expensive companions. And when the shine of your confidence tarnishes she will be shocked. This will wake her, shake her, remove her from your grip, your miasmic hold in which she had trusted. She had wanted to. She had her own issues, how could she not? No one gets through this game unscratched.
These lost boys and girls, they find each other.